Roald Dahl: Revolting Rhymes

Aaaaaannnnd.... I'm back! Have you missed me? My assignments are all done, so now I can spend some time here. I've actually really missed it. 

I ordered Revolting Rhymes by the spectacular Roald Dahl the other day and I wanted to share one of his shorter nursery rhymes. For those of you who haven't heard of Revolting Rhymes, its basically Dahl's take on classic fairy tales. For example, Snow White is a gambler, Goldilocks is a thief and Little Red Riding Hood is a hunter. My favourite is the story about Red Riding Hood.

Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

As soon as the wolf began to feel

That he would like a decent meal
He went and knocked on Grandma's door

When Grandma opened it, she saw

The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin

And Wolfie said, "May I come in?"

Poor Grandma was terrified,

"He's going to eat me up," she cried.

And she was absolutely right.

He ate her up in one big bite.

But Grandma was small and tough

And Wolfie wailed, "That's not enough!

"I haven't yet begun to feel 

"That I have had a decent meal!"

He ran around the kitchen yelping,

"I've got to have another helping!"

Then added with a frightful leer,

"I'm therefore going to wait right here

"Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood

"Comes home from walking in the wood"

He quickly put on Grandma's clothes.

(He hadn't eaten those.)

He dressed himself in coat and hat.

He put on shoes and after that

He even brushed and curled his hair,

Then sat himself in Grandma's chair. 

In came the little girl in red.

She stopped. She stared. And then she said,

"What great big ears you have, Grandma."

"All the better to hear you with" the Wolf replied.

"What great big eyes you have, Grandma" 

said Little Red Riding Hood.

"All the better to see you with" the Wolf replied.

He sat there watching her and smiled.

He thought, I'm going to eat this child. 

Compared to her old Grandmamma

She's going to taste like caviare

Then Little Red Riding Hood said, "But Grandma, 

what a lovely great big furry coat you have on."

"That's wrong!" cried Wolf. "Have you forgot

"To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?"

"Ah well, no matter what you say,

"I'm going to eat you anyway."

The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.

She whips a pistol from her knickers.

She aims it at the creature's head

And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead. 

A few weeks, later in the wood

I came across Miss Riding Hood.

But what a change! No cloak of red,

No silly hood upon her head.

She said, "Hello, and do please note

"My lovely furry WOLFSKIN COAT."

I have to admit that I like this version better. Red Riding Hood is hard core. And Mr Dahl is brilliantly twisted.

You Look Good Enough To Eat

M-Net has started airing Suits. Now I had heard that this show was good, so I started watching. Man, oh man, am I glad I did! 

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but I am a huge fan of a guy in a suit. I don't know why, but they just make me swoon.

I have two assignments due this week so I know I could use some cheering up. And I can think of nothing better than to ogle a few gorgeous men who do an amazing job of filling out their expensive suits.

My three favourite suited up TV actors:

Ed Westwick who plays Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl.
Pretty sure this is where my love for a  well-dressed guy originated. 

Gabriel Macht who plays Harvey Specter in Suits.
 He's an arrogant S.O.B but, stars above, he is beautiful.

Matt Bomer who plays Neil Caffrey in White Collar.
That mischievous smile and those killer blue eyes had me hooked.


Trusting that I made your Monday beautiful, I'm signing off until these assignments are out my face.
Catch you later! 

What He Means

Things have not started out well this morning. I heard on the news that an American embassy has been attacked in Libya because some jackass posted a video that was disrespectful to Islam. 

I didn't mention 9/11 on Tuesday because it was my little cousin's birthday and, dammit, I wanted to be in a good mood. But this is just so... crappy, to put it mildly. It makes me so mad that people, from ANY religious background, would use religion to spread hate and hurt people. 

I hope this doesn't come off as preachy but I wanted to put the lyrics to Just Jinger's song "What He Means".

I think it kinda encapsulates what I'm feeling right now.

If there is grace in this world

If there is light on this earth

Let us use it

Let us see it

Starting right now

Can we be down with ourselves

Respectful and mindful of one, of one another

Your significant other

Your sister your brother

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope, trust in the same name of God

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope, trust in the same God in whose 

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what he means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

Is there relief up ahead

Cos judgement and hearing await

A weight on our minds to bear

A shame on our heads to wear

Where is salvation in love

Now that we have what we want

Now that we have our wars

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope, trust in the same God in whose 

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what he means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

With a little bit of ease and a little bit of calm

Acceptance is the key to all we know

What about a stir of compassion and lenience

What about some understanding

What about some sympathy

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope, trust in the same God in whose 

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what he means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

Freedom, kindness, warm deliverance, comfort, mercy

Redemption song

Redemption song

Redemption song

 Freedom, kindness, warm deliverance, comfort, mercy

Redemption song

Redemption song

Redemption song

Peace, love, more tolerance

Faith, hope, trust in the same God in whose 

Name we die for, take an innocent life for

That's not what he means

And it doesn't matter what book you read

My thoughts and prayers are with all the people who have lost their families to religious crazies, no matter where you're from or what you believe. 

And The Countdown Begins

In exactly sixty days Linkin Park will be gracing the shores of South Africa. 

I am so excited! This is the light at the end of my tunnel. I am so sick of studying right now that it's not even funny. At least this, and Gaga, is something to look forward to. 

Here is their music video for Burning In The Skies. I love this song even though it makes me a little sad.

Hoping that everyone has an awesome Tuesday.

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You

I just finished reading the latest Sookie Stackhouse book, Deadlocked. I wasn't too impressed. But what I did enjoy was inserting the gorgeous Alexander Skarshard and the sizzling Joe Manganiello into their respective characters in the book. 

I only watched season 1 of True Blood and I wasn't too jazzed about it. I'm thinking that I need to try again if only for the hotness that is these two fine gentlemen. 

This may make me kind of a perv, but I just want to take a bite out of this guy.

Looking at this picture definitely makes me wanna do bad things with him.

Hopefully these two will brighten your Monday!
They certainly did mine.

Guild Hunter Series: Angels' Blood

Nalini Singh, where have you been all my life? I am so flippin' glad that I found Angels' Blood. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best book I've read all year. It was funny, it was action packed, and it was sexy. If the rest of Ms Singh's books are anything like this, she may have knocked J.R Ward off her spot as my most favouritist author EVER. I know I'm gushing but I honestly can't stop. 

It was so good! I'm going to work backwards, from the things I really liked to the things I absolutely, flat-out adored.

The book is set in New York and follows a guild hunter by the name of Elena Deveraux. In this world vampires, humans and angels coexist. I don't usually like it when authors revamp (pun intended) vampire mythology.

*glares pointedly at Stephenie Meyer*

 It's like, you've got plenty of good stuff to work with. Why change it? But I loved what Singh did with it! Her older vampires are mostly sex on a stick. The best example of this was Dmitri, head of the archangel Raphael's security. Holy. Crap. Whenever this guy was on I was grinning like an idiot. He is just totally... wow. Words fail me. I will love Nalini Singh forever just for coming up with this guy.

Then we have the Raphael. He was kinda scary but also totally hot. Since he is way old, he's also really detached and cruel. Being one of the ten most powerful angels in the world, he's used to people doing exactly what he tells them to do without hesitation. This is where Elena comes in. He needs her to track another archangel who's gone psycho.

I loved Loved LOVED Elena. I can't remember the last time I liked a heroine this much. Unlike most other heroines, she doesn't just fall at the hero's feet. She has the good sense to be terrified of Raphael. She doesn't make excuses for his bad behaviour and she tells him off when he crosses her boundaries. Elena is also one of those take-charge heroines I love so much. Saving the day isn't just left up to Raphael. Elena kicks some serious ass too.

I loved how Elena and Raphael started softening towards each other. Elena doesn't just meekly do what he tells her and Raphael, in spite of himself, is intrigued by this. 

Can I just share my favourite part of the book? It's not a scene between Raphael and Elena but between Dmitri and Elena. Elena has had a huge fight with Raphael and is heading home. Dmitri has been instructed to escort her but he's being a little too... forward for Elena's liking. So she slits his throat (no biggie, he heals fast).

"Bitch." It was a wet gurgle.                                                                                  "Thanks."                                                                                                                                    He actually smiled, hard, lethal, scary as hell. "I like bitches." The words were clearer, his healing progressing at a faster pace than she would've believed.                                                   But it was the dark hunger in his tone that got to her. Damn kinky vampire had actually liked the knife.

I laughed like a drain. 

Angels' Blood is the first in the Guild Hunter series. Here the rest are in reading order:

Angels' Blood

Archangel's Kiss

Archangel's Consort

Archangel's Blade (Dmitri's book!)

Archangel's Storm

Belador Series: Alterant

I am done for the time being with Ms Kenyon's stuff. The whole "broaden your horizons" thing will start today. And not a minute too soon to be perfectly honest.

I was seriously looking forward to book two in the Belador Series. The first one was fan-freaking-tastic. But I was a teeny tiny bit let down by Alterant. I'm not entirely sure why. 

There was a lot going on in Alterant and not much that got resolved. There are still a whole bunch of things that the reader hasn't been told about. I know it's supposed to make you want to keep reading but I found myself getting frustrated. It was like, "C'mon! Give me something!" It would have been good to have had a smidgen more information than what we got...

Also, I would have liked ot have seen more interaction between Evalle, Quinn and Tzader. These three are thick as thieves and their hanging out was kinda missed during Alterant.

But it wasn't all bad. I really liked that Evalle was starting to open up to Storm. I absolutely love Evalle's little gargoyle, Feenix. So damn cute.

So in addition to the unanswered questions from Blood Trinity, I have a few more: 

Where the heck did Storm go? 

What's going to happen to Quinn?

What is Macha's agenda? Has she got some plan or is she just being a bitch?

Will we ever find out where Sen's gripe with Evalle stems from?

Will Isak finally work out that Evalle is an Alterant?

So many questions...

The third installment of the Belador Series, The Curse, will be coming out in the States two weeks from today. Those of you lucky enough to live in the US of A can get your copy then.