Fever Series: Bloodfever

When I read a book I tend to weigh the heroine on the "Kick Ass Scale" from one to ten, with "one" being a Bella and "ten" being a Buffy. I think I'm going to have to label any heroine who goes to an eleven or something a Mac. She has this "never say die" attitude that I both admire and am totally freaked out by at the same time. 

Bloodfever wasn't quite as good as Darkfever, but it was still pretty effing awesome. Mac and Barrons are still doing that thing where they're all formal and stuff. The moments where they get all pissy with one another are too funny! They've each always got some smart ass comment ready and I have to admit, Barrons makes me roll around laughing. I know I said that Barrons is an ass and I stand by that...

But he's so funny! And despite his bad behaviour, I really wish he and Mac would just go there already. I think this little tidbit is a good example of the tension between these two. It also raises the question which will plague the rest of the series (I'm on Dreamfever now and we still have no idea): What the heck is Jericho Barrons?

"I've heard there are no male sidhe-seers."
"Where did you hear that?
"Around?"
"And which one of those are you in doubt about, Ms Lane?"
"Which one of what?"
"Whether I see the Fae, or whether I'm a man. I believe I've laid your mind to rest on the former; shall I relieve it on the latter?"
He reached for his belt.

I was torn between rolling my eyes and rolling around on the floor laughing. He is so obnoxious but so damn sexy, all at once.
We also had more interaction with the characters we met in Darkfever and we were introduced to new characters too.
Let me start with the familiar faces. V'lane, the death-by-sex Fae, still gives me the heeby-jeebies. He's up to something, besides getting into Mac's pants, and he has no damn scruples. Fiona is still crazy in love with Barrons, although at this point she is leaning heavily towards being bat-shit crazy. Rowena, the aging sidhe-seer, is one deeply unpleasant old bat. I don't like her one little bit. The "Lord Master" (pretentious, much?) is still running around causing trouble, although this happens mostly in the background. Malluce, the vampire, is falling apart. When you get to what's going on with him, you will cringe.
Now for the newbies. My favourite new character is Dani. She's a precocious thirteen year old sidhe-seer with super speed, a bad attitude and a potty mouth. Judging by the fact that book six in the Fever Series, Iced, will be told from Dani's perspective, I imagine we'll be seeing a lot of her. Inspector Jayne is a member of Ireland's Garda and is being a major pain in Mac's butt. Lastly, we meet Christopher MacKeltar. He seems like your average, everyday guy but he knows a thing or two that Mac finds herself wanting to hear more about.
Last thing before I stop jabbering about this book. Mac and Barrons do kiss. And I couldn't even yell "FINALLY!" because Mac had kinda- who am I kidding?- really freaked me out a few pages before. Let me just say that Mac picked up on a nasty habit of Malluce's and leave it at that.
Ooooh, wait! I lied. This is the last thing:
"What are you Barrons?"
"The one who will never let you die, and that's more, Ms Lane, than anyone in your life has ever been able to say to you. More than anyone else can do."

Fever Series: Darkfever

Oh my stars. Wow. I loved this book to pieces! It was absolutely flippin' amazing. I cannot even begin to tell you how good this book is! Ms Moning is an evil genius. Even though most of the characters kinda pissed me off, I couldn't stop reading. As soon as I even thought about taking a little break from this book, just to catch my breath, this little voice in my head would scream, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?!" 

I had to know what was going to happen next.

The story is told from the perspective of MacKayla Lane. She is a girly girl who lives in a small town in Georgia. She is pretty happy with her lot in life. She is super-cute, she has parents who adore her, and she and her sister are thisclose. But then things start to go badly awry. Her sister goes to Dublin to study and she dies there under mysterious circumstances. The police close the investigation due to a lack of new evidence. Mac's whole world falls apart, so she goes to Dublin to put pressure on the police to continue their investigation. 

This is where things start getting weird. Mac meets the mysterious, arrogant, condescending and sarcastic Jericho Barrons and starts to see the Fae. The fae are uber creepy. They are not at all like Disney's Tinkerbell would like you to believe. And Barrons, while smoking hot, is a jerk. I really did not like this man. He was so mean to Mac that I often found myself yelling at my book (don't look at me like that! I know I'm not the only one who does stuff like that). I just want to give you a few examples of why I was acting like a crazy.

His gaze dropped from my face to my toes and back again. Apparently unimpressed by what he saw. "Go home, Ms Lane. Be young. Be pretty. Get married. Have babies. Grow old with your pretty husband."

Condescending, much?!

Mac has long, pretty blonde hair which she loves. For her own safety though, she has to dye it and cut it short. Being attached to my own hair, I wanted to slap Barrons for this.

"When you've finished cutting and coloring your hair, return to me. Short and dark, Ms Lane. Lose the Barbie look."

He gave me a brief glance. "Go put on something more... womanly. 

My eyes narrowed. "You mean sleazy."

"I mean the kind of woman others are accustomed to seeing me with. A grown one, if you think you can manage that, Ms Lane. Black might make you look old enough to drive. The new hair is... better. But do something with it. Make it look like the night I woke you."

All I can say here is grrr...

Normally this type of, ahem, "hero" is the kind I rail against. And I still do. I wanted to hit him upside the head with a rock and that is still one of the kinder things I wanted to do to him. But even his general asshole-ishness kept me reading. I kept hoping that something would happen to soften him, or at least make him a teeny tiny bit nicer. And eventually, halle-freaking-lujah, it did. On page 332, the last chapter. Mac managed to talk Barrons into painting her nails since she couldn't. It doesn't change the fact that he's a creep but it does make him a little bit more human. 

Now, lets talk about Mac. She's normally the type of heroine that I wouldn't have patience for. Too much love for pink, too concerned about clothes and looking pretty, too little kick ass potential. Boy, was I wrong. I found that the meaner Barrons was to Mac, the more I liked her. She reminded me a little bit of Sookie Stackhouse in the beginning. You know, carrying on oblivious to all the freaky stuff around her and then being thrown in at the deep end. Whenever Mac managed to overcome some obstacle or managed to put Barrons in his place, the latter didn't happen too often, I did a little victory dance for her. What I also liked about Mac was that she didn't just jump into bed with Barrons. Not once in the entire book was there any sexy time with Barrons. Yes, she was definitely thinking about it. But because he was so deeply unpleasant, she knew going there would be a very bad idea. 

There weren't a whole lot of peripheral characters. We've met V'lane and Fiona. V'lane is a death-by-sex Fae. He is basically so inhumanly beautiful, and oozes these "jump-my-bones" pheromones, that humans can't resist him. I don't like him. He gives me the creeps. Fiona is Barrons' squeeze. She does not like Mac, not even a little. She has a bad case of the "love-is-blinds" for Barrons.  

I loved this book so much! I wish that I could read it again and get that feeling that you get the first time you read an amazing book. Yes, I know I ranted about Barrons but I'm halfway through the second book (Bloodfever) and he does get better. Slightly.

Seriously, if you read anything else this year, read this book!

And then read the rest of the series! 

Demonica Series: Pleasure Unbound

Have you ever heard the saying that goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"? Whoever said that hit the nail square on the head. I had every intention of studying on my week-long break. But I didn't. Instead I read and did nothing.

But I'm glad I did get around to reading because Pleasure Unbound by Larissa Ione was pretty good. The story is set in New York. There are humans, demons, and human demon hunters. The story is about Tayla, a hunter, and Eidolon, a demon doctor who is in charge of the Underworld General Hospital. I liked these two although I wouldn't have blamed Eidolon if he'd decided to throttle Tayla. This chick gave him such a hard time with the "no, leave me alone!" and then the "wait, come back!" thing she had going. Not that I really blame her. With her mom having been killed by a demon, having warm fuzzies for one must have been confusing. Tayla also had me laughing a whole bunch of times. This chick had a wicked sense of humour.

Eidolon was a real sweetie. He's a Seminus demon (a type of incubus) and he needs to find a mate pronto before he undergoes a freakish change that makes him lose his marbles. Tayla coming into the picture is making it damn near impossible for him to sort himself out and the story goes on from there. 

I kinda felt myself getting frustrated for Eidolon. While I get where Tayla's coming from, her hot and cold attitude was hard to keep up with. One minute she and Eidolon are doing the nasty, the next she's conked him on the head with a steel pipe and chained him to her bed. In a non-kinky, lets-have-some-fun kind of way. 

We also met Eidolon's brothers, Shade and Wraith (yum!) and Tayla's sister, Gem. I am dying to learn more about these three. I loved Gem! She was funny and sweet and no-nonsense all at once. Gem is also burning a gigantic torch for demon hunter Kynan. It's so sad because it really doesn't look like it's going to happen for various reasons. 

I really enjoyed this series. I liked the characters, the world, the humour and the whole story in general. It was a fun read. I think fans of J.R Ward might enjoy it. It's not quite as gritty but has the same sort of vibe, I think

Just to share some of my favourite quotes with you guys:

From Tayla's perspective:

They entered the apartment, which though small, proved that vampires weren't all grim and Goth. No, this was worse. The stuff of nightmares.

Shades of purple and yellow assaulted her vision, from the lavender carpet to the baby-duck colored, fuzzy lamp shade. Even the walls had been slathered with lemon paint. Christ, the place looked like a Muppet slaughter house. She deserved to die for her horrible taste in decor alone. 

  From Eidolon's perspective:

Something inside Eidolon buckled, and fuck, nothing should be buckling or unbuckling for this woman. There had already been way too much of the latter.

From Gem's perspective:

Doctor Gemella Endri was up to her elbows in condoms.

(as is typical, Kynan walks in at this point.)

I dare you to read that last quote and not laugh. So, the bottom line is this: go read Pleasure Unbound. It's pretty awesome.

A Week of Buffy: Day 5

I think one of Buffy's oddest, but most lovable, characters was Anya. She was an ex-vengeance demon who found herself inexplicably attracted to Xander. They were such an adorable couple and funny as hell. Anya had very little in the way of people skills thanks to her demon days and Xander's reactions to her weirdness left me paralytic with laughter. Anyone familiar with the show will also know that Anya LOVES money.

Anya Jenkins:

  Anya: "Xander, you haven't been paying any attention to me tonight- just peddling those processed food bricks. I don't know why."

Xander: "Let me put it in a way you'll understand... Sell bars, make money, take Anya nice places, buy pretty things."

Anya: "That does make sense."

"The I in Team"

Xander: "Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called? They want me to tell you 'please go' just got replaced with 'have a nice day.'"

Anya: "I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?"

"No Place Like Home"

Willow: "I need help"

Anya: "I don't have any money."

Willow: "I don't want money!"

Anya: "Come in! Enjoy my personal space!"

"Same Time, Same Place"

 "We're all on death's doorstep, repeatedly ringing the bell, like maniacal Girl Scouts intent on making quota."

Anya, "Touched"

Anya: "I promise to cherish you... Eew, no! 'Cherish'? I promise to have sex with you whenever... I  want, and pledge to be your friend and your wife and your confidant and your sex poodle and-"

Tara: "Sex poodle?"

Anya: "Yeah, why?"

Tara: "Um, I'm not sure you should say 'sex poodle' in your vows."

Anya: "Huh."

"Hell's Bells"

Anya: "Oh, crap. Look at this. Now I am burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children and more cash than I can reasonably manage."

Xander: "That means you're winning."

Anya: "Really?"

Xander: "yes. Cash equals good."

Anya: "Oh, I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?"

Mastering the game of Life, "Real Me"

I was so bummed when she died at the end of season 7. But at least she went out with a bang.

A Week of Buffy: Day 4

What would the slayerettes have done without Rupert Giles? With his stiff upper lip and his knowledge of all things freaky and creepy, Giles was hands down my favourite grown up on Buffy. I just really wished that the writers could have given him a steady who didn't die. I think that a big part of my "blegh" attitude towards Angel came from the fact that he killed Jenny, Giles's lady love. 

Rupert Giles:

Buffy: "Giles, care. I'm putting my life on the line, battling the undead! I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest... You could go 'Hmmmm.'"

Giles: "Hmmmm?"

"Prophecy Girl"

"If you want to criticise my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself, and while you're at it, stop criticising my methods!"

Giles to Wesley, "Bad Girls"

"I'm great with the pacing and the saying of 'hmmmm,' and 'ahhhh,' and 'Good Lord!'

Giles, "The Yoko Factor"

"[Snyder] thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students.I tried to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimise said contact."

Giles, re: involvement in the annual talentless show, "The Puppet Show"

Buffy: "Giles, you planning to step in with an explanation anytime soon?"

Giles: "Well, something... something very strange is happening."

Xander: "Can you believe the Watchers Council let this guy go?"

"Doppelgangland"

Buffy:  "We don't say 'Indian.'"

Giles: "Yes! Right. Always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials.'"

"Pangs"

Right, well, I tried to find a clip from "The Yoko Factor" where Willow officially announces to the Scooby Gang that she and Tara are a couple. The reason I want this clip is largely because of Giles. He's a wee bit drunk and after Willow's little speech, you can hear Giles in the background going, "Bloody hell!" I laughed myself stupid at that episode.

But I can't find it. Sorry...

A Week of Buffy: Day 3

Today is all about Xander. He was probably the only "ordinary" member of the Scooby Gang, which I think made him generally unappreciated in the Buffyverse. But I can honestly say he was one of my favourite characters of any show, ever. He was so loyal to Buffy and Willow, his relationship with Anya was so sweet and so weird, and his sense of humour at the least appropriate times kept the 13 year old me from freaking out during the creepier Buffy episodes. Xander was totally my hero.

Xander Harris:

Xander: "People scoff at things like school spirit, but when you see these young women giving their all like this..."

(Amber, am attractive, agile girl, her feet on two chairs, slides down into an extra low split.)

Xander: (mesmerised) "... Oooh, stretchy. Where was I?

Willow: "You were pretending that seeing scantily-clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience."

Xander: "What do you mean, pretending?"

"The Witch"

Xander: (yelling) "HEY! Riley! What's the..." (hand gestures) "... all about?"

Riley: (five paces up ahead, sighs) "It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance."

"Fool for Love"

Xander: "So, here it is. The latest state-of-the-art combat technology. I gotta say, it doesn't look that complicated."

Buffy: "So, can you repair it?

Xander: "Sure. Just as soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology."

Willow: "Well, why don't we experiment, then? You know, press some buttons, see what happens."

Xander: "It's called a 'Blaster', Will. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it was called 'The Orgasminator,' I'd be the first to try your basic button-press approach."

"This Year's Girl"

"I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you all immature and stuff, but I ate a ton and I don't feel any diff- never mind"

Xander, "Band Candy"

Xander: "You girls need a lift?"

Buffy: "What is that?"

Xander: "What do you mean, what is it? It's my thing!"

Willow: "Your thing?"

Xander: "My thing..."

Buffy: "Is this a penis metaphor?"

Wheels are key to cool, "The Zeppo"

Xander: "You were going to stake yourself?"

Spike: "Fag off. It's no concern of yours."

Xander: "Is too. For one thing, that's my shirt you're about to dust. And for another, we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you."

"Doomed"

So very many more Xander quotes but I don't want to bore anyone. I think it's enough to say that Xander is a very funny man.

A Week of Buffy: Day 2

A character I loved on Buffy more than any other was Willow. She was the sweetest person on this program and, given how timid and shy she was, I couldn't help rooting for her. I also loved how she went from shy wallflower to being a kick ass chick in her own right. 

Willow Rosenberg:

"It could be anyone. It could be me... It's not though."

Willow explaining why human criminals are more upsetting, "The Puppet Show"

Willow: "Great! I'll call Xander, ask him to join us. What's his number? Oh, yeah: 1-800-I'm-Dating-a-Skanky-Ho."

Buffy: "Me-ow!"

Willow: "Really? Thanks! I've never gotten a 'me-ow' before."

"Phases"

"I happen to think mine is the level head and yours is the one that things would roll off of."

Willow defending her judgement, "Pangs"

"You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one."

Willow to Buffy and Xander, feeling left out, "The Yoko Factor"

"I'm a big fan of school. You know me, I'm all, 'Go school, it's your birthday!' Or something to that effect."

Willow, "Tough Love"

Oz: "I'm gonna ask you if you wanna go out tomorrow night. I'm actually kind of nervous about it. It's interesting."

Willow: "Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes."

Oz: "Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"

Willow: "Oh! I can't!"

Oz: "Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable."

"Surprise"

I normally hate fan-made videos but this one had pretty much all my favourite Oz/Willow moments and I had to share. These two were my favourite Buffy couple. The reason Buffy/Angel don't occupy this position is that we all knew they were pretty much doomed. But I really believed that Willow and Oz would last. I was totally devastated when they broke up.